a blog about men and women
Out in the wild, women are genetically programmed to travel in packs or groups, not unlike cats and tigers. This provides women safety in numbers, companionship during social events and someone to hold their hair back in the bathroom after an extended night of drinking. But women don’t just join any group, there are many complex universally known rules that they abide by when selecting a group to join or when allowing a new female to join an existing group. For example, whether or not they share the same taste in fashion (women have an ancient tradition of shopping in each others closets, which helps build bonds and their own clothing selection). But one of the most important and more interesting requirements for women to be included in a group is whether or not the women have similar levels of attractiveness. The reason for this is that women are very competitive creatures (some say catty) and belonging to a group with similar attractiveness limits cat fights during mating and dating situations. That is why when one studies women in their natural habitat for example, a dance club, we can easily see the division between groups. The Forever 21 miniskirt wearing women stand apart from the Louis Vuitton carrying three carat minimum loving females who stand opposite from the big booty Apple Bottom shorts wearing group and the short haired nature loving Subaru driving women. Further evidence of rule is seen in a study done by Bleske-Rechek at University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire that showed
“Women tend to be biased toward female friends of similar attractiveness….When one woman is prettier than the other in a platonic pairing, the resulting mating rivalries often come at too high a cost for the friendship to thrive.”
“There’s this double-edged sword where presumably you want friends who will facilitate your mating pursuits - you want them to be kind of attractive,” says Bleske-Rechek. “But you also don’t want them to get in your way by being too attractive and taking all the attention away.”
These rules and organizational structures are necessary to keep equilibrium within groups and between women in general. But if one is inclined to watch a good ole’ cat fight, you now know what to do.
We were driving to a friends place for a dinner party one night, but we were slightly off course (she called it “lost”). It was approaching 7pm, which was about when the party was supposed to begin. I assured her that we would get there just in time and that “the area looked familiar and we were not lost.” I also added, “Even if we were a little late, it’s not a big deal.” Unfortunately she didn’t view it that way. She turned to me and gave the “evil eye” and began going on and on about how I should have just asked for directions and that we were going to be viewed as rude for arriving late. There I was, calm and relaxed trying to find our way there while she began getting more hot and bothered with each passing minute while further talking about the issue. I didn’t really see why it was a big deal and she couldn’t understand why I “didn’t care”. How can two very compatible people view the same issue so differently? This particular incident is categorized by an article on CNN.com as “Women Make Mountains Out of Molehills.” It goes on to further explain the reason for our conflict in the car that night,
“What you think: Women obsess about every little thing; men seem to have it all under control.
What the experts say: Men are problem-solvers and tend to bring up a problem only in order to search for its solution, says Schwarz. The “eureka” moment of problem-solving increases the level of dopamine, a pleasure-inducing chemical, in the brain. (This also explains why men will wait until it’s absolutely necessary to stop and ask for directions.)
Women relieve stress by talking and relating their problems to others, which produces serotonin, said to enhance moods and ward off depression.”
Now we know the reason men always try to solve women’s problems and why women go on and on about the smallest issues, which is why we always argue, let’s skip to the best part of a fight…..the Make Up Sex!
Just in case you were wondering, we made it just on time to the party. I knew I wasn’t lost!
PMS (Premenstrual syndrome). Also know as Psychotic Mood Shift, Pissy Mood Syndrome and Pass My Sweat-Pants, is defined by WebMD.com as, “a medical condition that has symptoms that affect many women of childbearing age. PMS can cause a variety of physical and psychological symptoms that occur just before your menstrual period.” This condition is apparent when your loving girlfriend turns into the Incredible Hulk after you drank out of the orange juice carton. Or when she begins sobbing after spilling a glass of milk. The most telling sign of oncoming PMS are when the skin colored nipple high Grandma Panties and old college sweat pants are brought out and considered acceptable couture. This period of the month requires extreme delicacy when interacting with the female species. One misstep, for example, leaving the toilet seat up, can lead to catastrophic results. Many men have met their demise for that very offense during PMS. A man’s common everyday interactions and conversions with women must be altered for this volatile period. Common banter like, “Hey Sweetie, what’s for dinner?” must be substituted with phrases like, “Wow, you look stunning in those gray sweat pants and fuzzy bunny slippers!” Pleasurable actives like back massages, going to the ball game and hosting a guys night are completely out of the question. And if thoughts of any sort of sexual interaction comes to mind, you are well advised to take a cold shower or “relieve” yourself. Read the rest of this entry »
My girl and I are getting ready to head to a night on the town. Walking back and forth in front of the mirror on her tippy toes (I found that women do this to simulate wearing high heels; why not just put some on? who knows?) she asks the dreaded question, “Do these jeans make my butt look big?” Like a deer caught in headlights, I freeze! She has the hottest body in the world, but she’s wearing that one and only pair of jeans out of the 127 pairs that she owns that would make Kate Moss’s butt look like two over sized Honey Baked Hams. I start to sweat and try not to crack a smile, but the clock is ticking and I have to answer before it’s obvious what I’m thinking. What should I say? If I say “yes”, she’ll think she’s fat. If I say “no” she’ll say, “You’re just saying that so I don’t get mad at you.” What comes first, honesty or my loving girlfriend’s feelings? Well, I still haven’t come up with the perfect answer and I won’t tell you what I said because it didn’t work, but here are the 16 things I KNOW I shouldn’t say from TopFive.com:
16. “Not to Stevie Wonder.”
15. “Big time! That’s why I’m sleeping with your best friend.”
14. “Does this tie make me look stupid?”
13. “No way! You look *least* fat in that outfit!”
12. “I guess there’s not much point in asking if you mean fat with an ‘f’ or phat with a ‘ph.’”
11. “No hablo ingles.”
10. “Yes, but it also makes you look like a pricey hooker, so things balance out.”
9. “No, but taking it *off* sure does.”
My girlfriend has always wondered why at times, men are so overly impulsive and impatient. Why everything from hunger to sex to shopping cravings have to be satisfied instantaneously. During those periods of extreme impulsiveness (i.e. when we roll over in the middle of the night for a little something something, a spur of the moment run to McDonalds, or when we have to buy that new plasma TV) something animalistic comes over us men. We just have to have it right then and there or all is lost. Like a Golden Retriever focused on a ball held by its master, we never take our eye off of it, we are obsessed with it. Maybe I’m craving that cheeseburger right about now because I just saw that commercial with oh so talented Gisele! It’s true! According to research by the Journal of Consumer Research,
“desire for immediate rewards increased in men who touched bras, looked at pictures of beautiful women, or watched video clips of young women in bikinis running through a park. It seems that sexual appetite causes a greater urgency to consume anything rewarding,” the authors suggest. Thus, the activation of sexual desire appears to spill over into other brain systems involved in reward-seeking behaviors, even the cognitive desire for money.”
See! So don’t be upset with your man the next time he gets on your nerves for being impatient or wanting gratification at that moment. It’s just a biological reflex, sort of like passing gas!
We guys see it everywhere, at the clubs, the gym and the grocery store and every time we witness it we think to ourselves, “How the hell did he do it?” Yup, I’m talking about another ugly dude with a hot ass girlfriend. You the one, the Lord of the Rings Frodo looking gremlin walking hand in hand with his hot Victoria’s Secret Model looking girlfriend. Like a little boy watching a magic show we all try to figure out what’s behind all the smoke and mirrors of his trick: “That dude is probably filthy rich and she’s a gold digging tramp” or maybe “They’re from the south and that’s really his sister he’s making out with” or better yet “That chick is a dude!” Actually the answer looks to be much more simple than that. According to a study found in the Journal of Family Psychology,
women look for men who can help them reproduce, while men seek out a youthful, healthy and physically attractive mate.
I guess it pays to be fertile and fugly.
Click Here For The Rest Of The Article: Women Happier With Ugly Men
Shoes. Like a fat boy in a room full of Twinkies, women can’t get enough of them. If left unsupervised at the mall, a woman will buy enough shoes to literally fill up her entire home. Case in point, after moving all of our boxes into our large apartment with three walk-in closets and one large coat closet, I told my girlfriend, “you can unpack the stuff while I haul up the heavy furniture”. What a big mistake that was! After coming up with my first load of furniture, I opened the coat closet to find the entire closet full of shoes! I headed to another closet…more shoes. Then I went to bedroom closet, low and behold, it looked like a shoe store threw up in it. I thought to myself, oh boy, I just moved in with Imelda Marcos! Is it really necessary to have 19 pairs of black pumps when one will suffice. The carbon footprint of all her shoes is probably larger than that of my car’s! Why do women love shoes so much? What do you get out of having so many shoes? Well, according to NYDAILYNEWS.com, shoes are much more than things that you put on your feet to women,
“Shoes can cost a fortune; yet while money itself does not bring happiness, a pair of new shoes bring on a kind of exaltation….More than anything else, women’s shoes speak the language of sex….we ask shoes to be our representatives. At any given moment, they are indicators of our age, mood and desires.”
I still don’t get it!
Click Here For The Article
Is it just me, or do women always ask men to take out the trash right when they are just getting comfortable and relaxed on the couch? What’s funny is a minute before men hear those precious words they were just thinking, “Ah man, the trash if full. I’ll throw it out before I go to bed.” But after hearing the order, something primal comes over men and flicks a switch that makes them not want to do what you ask. The automatic male response to the female’s request, “I’ll do it later!” Why do men automatically not want to do something after hearing the famous words, “Honey, can you …….?”
Well I think I found the answer, below are a few lines from an article by MSNBC talking about why men refuse to do what they’re told.
“Psychologists have long known about “reactance,” the tendency to do the exact opposite of what’s requested by a loved one or boss. The new study aimed to find out whether the phenomenon might occur at a subconscious level.
…..Further testing found that study participants who were more reactant responded more strongly to the subliminal cues and had a wider performance gap. “People with a tendency toward reactance may nonconsciously and quite unintentionally act in a counterproductive manner simply because they are trying to resist someone else’s encroachment on their freedom,” said Tanya Chartrand, also a professor of marketing and psychology at Duke.
So next time the trash needs to be thrown out, why not try a little reverse psychology and say, “don’t worry honey, I’ll take out the trash tonight.” Then maybe we’ll actually get up and do what you want. On second thought we’ll probably just think to ourselves, “Oh yeah, I’m getting lucky tonight!”
